Parenting Strategies

When you think of your adolescence, what comes to mind? Perhaps it’s a whirlwind of emotions, new experiences, and a search for identity. It’s a time marked by rapid physical, emotional, and psychological changes. For many, it’s a period of self-discovery, but also of confusion and uncertainty.

Today’s adolescents face even greater challenges, with the added pressures of social media, academic expectations, and a world that’s constantly changing. Research suggests that more than 42% adolescents between ages 14-18 feel persistently sad or hopeless and nearly 29% experience poor mental health. [1] Hence, the need for support and guidance during these formative years has never been more crucial.

Through conscious parenting, you can provide the mindful, empathetic, and present guidance your children need to navigate adolescence successfully. In this blog, we’ll talk about what conscious parenting is and strategies for supporting and guiding your child through adolescence.

Imagine this: you're returning home exhausted after a long day at work, hoping for a peaceful evening. However, you find your adolescent has not completed their homework and is instead glued to their phone. Your frustration builds and you scold them, leading to a heated argument and slammed doors.

However, this situation could be approached differently with the principles of conscious parenting. Conscious parenting, or meta parenting, is all about being fully present and aware in your parenting journey. It involves understanding yourself first so you can better support and guide your child. Research shows that children of parents who practice conscious parenting strategies showed significantly lower levels of anxiety and depression, as well as aggressive, oppositional, and antisocial behaviours. 

Understand yourself first: Recognize your own emotions, triggers, and past experiences. This helps you respond thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively to your child’s behavior. Also ask yourself why you react in certain ways and how you can improve.

Release your expectations: Avoid projecting your unfulfilled dreams and desires onto your child. Accept them for who they are, rather than who you want them to be.

Stay present: Give your child your full attention during interactions. Avoid getting caught up in worries about the future or regrets about the past.

Empower them rather than controlling them: Encourage your child to make their own choices and learn from them. Offer guidance and support rather than dictating what they should do. Help them understand the reasons behind decisions and rules.

Practice open communication and active listening: Create a safe space for your child to express themselves without fear of judgment. Listen fully to what your child says, validate their feelings and show empathy.

Set boundaries with compassion: Set clear boundaries and explain the reasons behind them to help your child understand and respect these limits. Be considerate of their feelings and acknowledge them when you enforce rules.

Model emotional regulation: Your child learns from observing your behavior so demonstrate how to handle stress and emotions in a healthy way. 

So, if you were to apply these elements of conscious parenting to the previously discussed situation, it would look something like this:

You take a moment to calm yourself before reacting. You acknowledge your own exhaustion and frustration, understanding that these feelings could influence your response. Instead of immediately scolding, you take a deep breath and gently ask your child about their day and if there's anything bothering them. You listen actively to their response, showing empathy and validating their feelings. Then, you explain why homework is important and work together to find a solution or a plan for completing it. By staying present, managing your emotions, and through open communication, you create a more supportive and understanding environment.

Based on the key elements of conscious parenting, here are some tips and strategies for supporting and guiding your child through adolescence:

1. Ask open-ended questions like, "How was your day?" or "What’s on your mind?" to initiate meaningful conversations.

2. Show genuine interest in what your child is saying. Make eye contact, nod, and respond with empathy. Acknowledge their feelings by saying, "That sounds really tough. How can I support you?"

3. Instead of imposing rules, explain the reasoning behind them. For instance, if you set a curfew, discuss how it's meant to ensure their safety and well-being.

4. Involve your child in decision-making. Ask for their input and find a compromise that respects both their independence and your concerns

.

5. When you feel stressed or angry, take a moment to calm yourself before responding. Use techniques like deep breathing or counting to ten. Your child will learn to manage their emotions by watching you.

6. Talk openly about how you handle stress. For example, say, "I had a tough day at work, so I'm going for a walk to clear my mind."

7. Let your child experience the natural outcomes of their actions which can help them learn from their mistakes and develop problem-solving skills. For example, if they forget to do their homework, they may receive a lower grade.

8. Engage in activities that you both enjoy. Whether it’s cooking, hiking, watching a movie, or journaling, these moments strengthen the parent-child relationship. 

9. Promote a growth mindset. Focus on the effort your child puts into their tasks rather than the outcome. Teach your child that mistakes are opportunities for growth. Share your own experiences of learning from failures to normalize this mindset.

Adolescence is a time filled with growth, challenges, and the quest for identity. As a parent, you can guide and support your child through conscious parenting which is a mindful, empathetic, and present approach to parenting. Conscious parenting is not about perfection but about connection and growth.

By implementing the strategies discussed, such as engaging in open dialogue, modeling regulation and sharing coping mechanisms, and encouraging independence, you can help your child navigate the complexities of adolescence with a strong sense of self and strengthen your bond with them for life.